POEM: Eazy Peazy

eazy peazy lemon copy

Eazy peazy
Lemon squeazy
Pick your nose
Don’t get sneezy

Eazy peazy
Lemon squeazy
Eat a bogey
Don’t get queazy

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POEM: Pages


We’re going on an adventure
Through tall trees and over mountains
Pass great creatures in fields
And in taverns littered with gold

We’re going on an adventure
Across wide rivers with sea serpents
Through boggy lands where monsters hide
Two brave heroes with armour of foil

We’re going on an adventure
Across plains of racing dinosaurs
Pass cavemen crouching over fires
With our jam sandwiches in our packs

We’re going on an adventure
Under the three moons of Mars
Zooming across the planet on jets
Eating protein pills for energy.

POEM: The Spelling Test

SpellRite-300x230

OK children
It’s time for the Spelling Test
Remember: no talking
If I see you talking
I will tear up your paper for cheating
Susan, what did I just say?
That’s right, NO TALKING.
Question 1
Suc-cess
Remember my clue:
Two cuffs, two sleeves
Michael, are you paying attention?

I’em a sawin bird in the ski
dragon wing tell mak me fli
a nite in rmer rides my bak
blazin sward helld hi for attak

OK
Question 2
Ne-ces-sary
Here’s the clue
One cup, two sugars
Remember that
One cup, two sugars
Michael, have you got number one done yet?

The prinsess waits in her towa
walls of vine and flowa
a which chains her too a bed
kacklin lowdly makin dred

Michael! You haven’t even started!
How do you expect to write
if you can’t spell?

POEM: My Mum Don’t Come To My School No More

redschool

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mum don’t come
to my school no more,
saw the Head Teacher
hit him to the floor
said a lot of words
straight out the loo
punched and kicked him
black and blue

My mum don’t come
to my school no more,
she hit him with a right hook
to the ground
all the other parents
gathered around
they all enjoyed
a great good fight
but even they thought
“This ain’t right.”

My mum don’t come
to my school no more
she’s barred from the playground
not allowed through the doors
or all the teachers
will call the law
I wish she behaved herself
done what is good
instead of being
the talk of the neighbourhood.

POEM: Monkey Brains

 

My brother is a
little bit strange
For he’s got
monkey brains
He swings from the rafters
hangs from the stairs
He leaves his baked beans
ignores his lasagne
He just wants
squidgey bananas
Mother is cross
she is full of despair
As brother sits eating
nits from her hair
What can be done?
What must we do?
Perhaps we should send him
to London zoo. 

POEM: Arting Loudly

arting loudly

I can’t believe it
It can’t be true
That such a thing
Came out of you
A pallet of colour
Not to my taste
Shot out of your bottom
All over the place
A parp of Van Gogh
A dash of O’Keefe
Made me needing
A bit of relief
A Michelangelo scent
Descends down the stairs
A litter of drawings
Fly through the air
A raucous Picasso
Looks a bit out of place
Shooting through the room
To mess up my face
A fragrance of beans
Floats through the hall
Should have stuck to soup
Like Andy Warhol.

POEM: Teacher says…

midnightfrog_just-your-imagination

 

Teacher says
my writing is not very good
But I dream of slaying serpents
with a dappled sword of light

Teacher says
I should use more connectives
But I search the fathoms of Hades
for the last souls of the unforgiven

Teacher says
it would be better with subordinate clauses
But I dance with moonlight maidens
on an ocean of stardust from Mars

Teacher says
my work lacks imagination
But I journey home, sword broken
and the beast of burden victorious