POEM: My Mum Don’t Come To My School No More

redschool

 

 

 

 

 

 

My mum don’t come
to my school no more,
saw the Head Teacher
hit him to the floor
said a lot of words
straight out the loo
punched and kicked him
black and blue

My mum don’t come
to my school no more,
she hit him with a right hook
to the ground
all the other parents
gathered around
they all enjoyed
a great good fight
but even they thought
“This ain’t right.”

My mum don’t come
to my school no more
she’s barred from the playground
not allowed through the doors
or all the teachers
will call the law
I wish she behaved herself
done what is good
instead of being
the talk of the neighbourhood.

POEM: Monkey Brains

 

My brother is a
little bit strange
For he’s got
monkey brains
He swings from the rafters
hangs from the stairs
He leaves his baked beans
ignores his lasagne
He just wants
squidgey bananas
Mother is cross
she is full of despair
As brother sits eating
nits from her hair
What can be done?
What must we do?
Perhaps we should send him
to London zoo. 

POEM: Arting Loudly

arting loudly

I can’t believe it
It can’t be true
That such a thing
Came out of you
A pallet of colour
Not to my taste
Shot out of your bottom
All over the place
A parp of Van Gogh
A dash of O’Keefe
Made me needing
A bit of relief
A Michelangelo scent
Descends down the stairs
A litter of drawings
Fly through the air
A raucous Picasso
Looks a bit out of place
Shooting through the room
To mess up my face
A fragrance of beans
Floats through the hall
Should have stuck to soup
Like Andy Warhol.

WRITING TIP 3: What If?

whatif 001I am often asked, “How do you get all your ideas?” And I usually reply, “Thinking!” (Not really). It is a very important question to ask because without ideas you face the horror of the blank page! Da-da-dum. That’s the moment when you are sat at your table or lying on the floor or under the covers of your bed with a brand new piece of paper and a pen ready-for-action. Only problem is: your head is empty! What can you write about? You want to write something but what?

A good way to come up with ideas is to play the What if…? game. That’s when you ask yourself a series of What if questions until you come up with an idea you might want to write. You might come up with lots  – so have a notepad ready.

Here’s what I mean by What if questions:
What if bananas hated being eaten by monkeys and decide to fight back to stop it happening?
What if my dad gradually turned into a gorilla?
What if I found a magical gold coin that could transport me anywhere?
What if killer cucumbers from space started to invade earth?
What if people disappeared when visiting the house at the end of my street?

I’m sure you get the idea. It doesn’t matter how daft some of the What ifs are as long as you let your imagination go wild and you jot your ideas down. Don’t think “I can’t write that, people will think it’s silly,” because the story is not theirs. You are writing the story so it’s your story so you can write what you like. You’re the boss!

Have fun!

POEM: Teacher says…

midnightfrog_just-your-imagination

 

Teacher says
my writing is not very good
But I dream of slaying serpents
with a dappled sword of light

Teacher says
I should use more connectives
But I search the fathoms of Hades
for the last souls of the unforgiven

Teacher says
it would be better with subordinate clauses
But I dance with moonlight maidens
on an ocean of stardust from Mars

Teacher says
my work lacks imagination
But I journey home, sword broken
and the beast of burden victorious